Misadventures in Snorkeling

As the title hints, todays adventure into the Indian Ocean did not go as planned. I was a little sketched out by Gone Fishin', the boating compay attached to the lodge, from the get go. Every time I visited I found a horde of young men, sitting around, watching over several delapidated sail boats, flanked by market traders setting up shop in cheap masks, sunglasses, and paintings. Not one to let my first-hand observations get in the way of lonely planet's recommendations on a beach vacation, I plunged into the "free snorkeling wtih room" offer. I figured it was a lot safer than diving, so what was the harm, really.

I set off with two other couples and a older gentleman in one of the "speedboats" this morning. Besides the fact I had to get up early and miss my leisurely breakfast (I know I'm whining here, but still), it was also fairly overcast, which may have been an initial tip that snorkeling wasn't going to be that awesome.

I asked for and received a life jacket, no way was I going into the ocean on a rickety boat and then jumping into the ocean without one. No one else seemed concerned, so when we did dive into the water, at some randomly selected spot 3 kilometers or so from shore, I was the only one with one on. Not only was there no point in trying to "snorkel" where we were, that is, no chance of catching a glimpse of coral reefs or even fish, it was also fairly treacherous, wavey water. Hopefully, everyone could swim, I was thinking, definitely our skipper was not going to help. He hadn't addressed us yet in either English or Portugeuse. I mean, snorkeling's not rocket science, but something along the lines of, "make sure to put your mask on and wear a life jacket" would have been good for everyone to hear.

At no point did he even stop the boat, I suspect it might not have started again. We swam frantically to not get left behind, breathing in the gasoline fumes much more than any fauna beneath the surface. I was farily sure it was a bust, and the whole point was to see us in the ridiculous flippers and masks get ups, but I was still salvaging the morning by enjoying an ocean swim and the company of my fellow would- be snorkelers (also sadly conned.) That is, until I realized there was no way to get back into the boat. I grew up around boats and boating and I know that crawling up the back of a boat while the boat is still moving and the ENGINE IS RUNNING, is a horrible idea unless you aim to attract more fish to watch by leaving bloody appendages in the water. Our skipper, however, made this suggestion through signs and grunts. Some of the men were strong enough to pull themselves over the edge. I was almost strong enough. I definitely wasn't going through the back of the boat gauntlet. I kicked one leg over and two of the women drug me into the boat. By this point I was bleeding all up and down my leg from being scraped up the side of the boat.

Feeling a rage only my immediate family really gets to see on any sort of semi-regular basis. I demanded to go back to shore. I stormed into Gone Fishin' and extolled about the need for life jackets and a fucking ladder on the boat, thank you very much. Unfortunately, my supreme pissed-offedness didn't generate much response. I mean, I don't think they really cared. I went back to my once interrupted breakfast and also tried not to care so much. I think it's an important risk/reward lesson. If the free snorkeling seems like it might be a bad idea, it probably is.