Piratz in Silver Spring

Recently, a friend and I were drinking Sangria at Piratz Tavern in Silver Spring, and subsequently encountered the burgoning D.C. Pirate scene head-on. When I saw the tattooed cleavage on our drink server, I knew this was no make-believe Pirate themed restaurant, but a haven for the true pirate believers. Almost immediately upon arriving, a woman asked us to follow her to the alley for her flame throwing act. Gamely, the entire restaurant walked outside as she solemnly lit and swung two swinging balls of fire. Next up, a fire-swallower, whose act would be thwarted by the winds of a growing thunderstorm.

In between acts, Kristi and I were joined by a reporter from the Washington Post, a man who too had found himself in the pirates tavern seeking answers to why a sub-culture was forming around such a historically nefarious citizenry. After all, weren't pirates murderers, looters, rapists, and otherwise poor neighbors? We chatted with him about what had brought us to the tavern (curiosity and a DailyCandy alert), and he asked again, why pirates? Could we believe it?

But I could. It makes sense to me in the same why all sub-cultures do. I can sympathize with wanting to drop everything, cut and run. Fuck the system. Fuck the man, so to speak. It may somehow bastardize the pirattitude when it's sold for free rum and unlimitless dinner cruise happy hour shows, but hey, let's not split hairs.

The night continued with a sword swallower, trained on four generations of circus performers' knowledge. She legitimately swallowed a three-foot long sword. I witnessed it, and I totally believe it. We had our picture made with Mike, the pirate bouncer. His eye patch was no affectation. He lost his eye in a sabre fight promoting Pirates of the Caribbean 2.

I bet when Piratz Tavern opened all of these good folks were totally pumped to have a legitimate use for their formidable pirate talents. We are certainly pumped to see them.